About Being Quarrelsome

A series of Christian based letters to my Grandgirls, entitled, Nana’s Love Notes

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How are my girly’s today?

Did you think I forgot you?  Not on your life!  😉   Been busy with writing and book stuff, but YOU my dears, are more important than ALL of that.

Today, I’ll share a very vivid word picture through this verse:

Proverbs 21:9  It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.

nagging-wife

It’s really true girls; A man would rather live in a small corner of an attic than to live with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely, even orderly home.

I want my husband to be happy to come home.  I want him to feel that being in my presence is SAFE.

The title, quarrelsome is not something I want as a descriptor connected to me.  I looked up some synonyms for a better grasp of the word. Listen to these unattractive labels girls; argumentative, nagging, confrontational, hotheaded, combative, antagonistic, snappy, belligerent, cantankerous, scrappy.

Even though I don’t want to be quarrelsome, to be honest, sometimes I slip into that mode of behavior.  It’s not pleasant for your Papa or me.

When I see this enemy of peace through God’s lens, I realize how totally self-centered it is. Here are some attitudes that stick out of a quarrelsome spirit.

When I am quarrelsome, I’m saying, me before you. When I am argumentative I care more about being right, than about being loving. When I am obstinate I take on an attitude of superiority and become my fella’s worst critic.

Girls,  an attitude that is constantly quarrelsome has the power to emasculate a man. He may seek peace at all costs thereby taking a back seat instead of the leading role God intends.

Nagging is deflating, frustrating, annoying, unkind, and just plain wrong. “A constant dripping on a day of steady rain And a contentious woman are alike;” Proverbs 27:5

Jesus is our example. He placed himself last. He gave himself up for us, he loved when it was inconvenient and he served when he was beyond tired.

Selfishness comes out of a heart of pride (as with most sins). Self-importance happens when we think much too highly of ourselves and much too lowly of everyone else.

When my mind is set on pleasing God, I look for ways to show respect to my husband. When I am set on getting my own way I fail at being the woman God created me to be. I also fail to love my husband and be the helpmate he so desperately needs.

So, my girls, let’s read some attributes God wants to cultivate in the hearts of His girls:

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”             I Peter 3:3-4

“Gracious (friendly, kind, tender) words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” Proverbs 16:24

The best time to practice graciousness is before you marry. Learn to be gracious with your family and friends.

Remember, without Him, we can do nothing.  It is Jesus that does the work in our hearts. Don’t carry the weight of change BUT don’t ever think change is impossible. Surrender to Jesus and have faith to trust that He is at work in you, to perfect you.  Surrender and trust Him, He will bring the change that will make you pleasing to God and so desirable to the man you will someday marry.

GO to Jesus, HE longs for you to ask Him to work graciousness into your heart.

“I can do ALL things through Christ, who gives me strength.”  Phil. 4:13

because I love you,

Nana

 

Nana’s Lovenotes

A series of Christian based letters to my Grandgirls

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My Sweet Grandgirls,

How can I fully express the complete joy I feel when you claim me as your Nana? You each bring a JoY to my heart like no other.

As your Nana, I always will point you to Jesus.  I believe, as the scriptures say, that the older women are to teach the younger women. I take that charge seriously, especially when it comes to family.  I have always had an active role in your lives.  I study you, laugh with you, pray for you and love you with all of my heart.

I choose to be a constant in your lives.  One of the ways I am striving to do this is by writing these love notes.  As I write I will share inspirational stories and personal experiences. I pray God will use these lovenotes to impart wisdom and conviction, when needed. 😉

FORWARNING: 🙂 

This is a long lovenote.  As I was writing, God kept giving me His words to include in my note.  Know that God loves you so much, so very much that He died for you so that you could be free from the power of sin and death.

“And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.” Romans 8:2

Each of you have made a profession of salvation. You have embraced the faith of our family. You have made a public stand letting our Church know you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. This was no easy decision.  I believe the Holy Spirit touched your heart and drew you to Himself.

As each of you took your stand for Christ, you accepted Him, not just as Savior, as a fire escape from Hell, but knowing He is LORD.

There are times we  must examine our hearts. Do you remember the huge shift that occurred when you  became a believer in Jesus Christ? At the time, did you understand the deep implications and far reaching effects of knowing your life doesn’t belong to you anymore?

You are not your own; you were bought with a price. I Cor. 6:19-20.

A battle began on that day, girls. The enemy is out to take you down, confuse your minds and tell you lies. He does that to all of God’s kids. 

Be alert and sober minded. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” I Peter 5:8

Jesus bought us with His blood, His life in exchange for the penalty of our sin – eternal death. Oh, what a Savior!  As God’s kids we take direction from Him. The way we learn His will for our lives is by taking time to study His word. Remember:

“For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” Heb. 4:12

I love how Jesus shines through you when you make decisions to yield to Jesus.  When you walk in obedience, you are a reflection of Him to a world who does not know Him.

“Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16 

As God’s kids, we surrender our own desires, and our selfishness daily, sometimes moment by moment.

It’s not easy being a Jesus follower. I was once young, and I remember the pressures to fit in. Peer pressure and assaults on your Faith may occur on a daily basis.  

“Dear friends, your faith is going to be tested as if it were going through fire. Do not be surprised at this. Be happy that you are able to share some of the suffering of Christ. When His shining-greatness is shown, you will be filled with much joy. If men speak bad of you because you are a Christian, you will be happy because the Spirit of shining-greatness and of God is in you.”   I Peter 4:12-14   

Most of your peers are partier’s, disrespectful, attention seekers, rebellious and set against authority. But you are not like the rest of the world, you have been called out of darkness, into His light.

“The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you.” John 15:19

Being hated, my girls, is what you experience with persecution.  As you live for Christ, no matter how kind and gentle your hearts may be, you will still be hated (either silently or overtly) by those who are against God.

“Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”  II Tim. 3:2

I have shared today because God laid you on my heart. He gave me these verses to share with you. I write to remind you of the day you gave your heart to Jesus. Distractions, pain and heartaches will always follow you. But if you keep your eyes on the one who gave His life to give you eternal life, you will find strength in your time of need and you will know peace in the midst of any storm God allows in your life.

No person is an island. We need each other. Make no mistake, we will become like those we hang with. I hope you are surrounding yourself with other believers who are stronger than you.  We each need at least one mentor, we look up to. One who will speak truth to us, even when it hurts.

“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” Proverbs 27:6

This Love note is pretty straight forward. But you know Nana, I will speak truth. You also know  my heart, that it is filled with love for you and the desire to see you live lives that flourish. 

I am so grateful you girls have received my love notes with graciousness and appreciation. My heart sings when I hear, “Nana, I loved your email” or “When will we get another note?” or “I went to my email today hoping to hear from you.” Sometimes a simple “thank you and I love you,” is confirmation that you appreciate the time I take to touch base.

My Reading Audience:

I am blessed to have eleven extraordinary grandchildren. Nine of those are granddaughters spanning the years from elementary to twenties. These writings have been written for my adolescent through twenties Grandgirls.

In the coming days, with full permission from my grandgirls, I will be sharing some of the love notes I have sent to them.  I pray God will use my writings to inspire you to connect and pour into the younger generation.

I write each of these Lovenotes:

Because I love my girls, always and forever,

Nana