Don’t Marry a Fixer-Upper


A series of Christian based letters to my Grandgirls, entitled, Nana’s Love Notes

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Hi Girlies,

Pastor Dave’s message on Sunday was right on target!  He said, “Never choose a fixer-upper.” Do you know why? There is no such thing as fixing a man after you marry him, it just never happens.  What you see is what you get.

The next words I will write refer to a point-in-time when you choose to be in a committed relationship.  It’s an opportunity to study your potential life partner.

Is he more interested in hanging with the guys than hanging with you?  He’s not changing.

Is he a silent knight?  One that doesn’t talk to you about what’s going on in his head? He’s not changing.

Does he include you in his dreams for the future?  Does he share his walk with the Lord or initiate devotions with you?  Does he love kids like you do?

My sweet girls, Seek God with all of your heart, He wants you to have a partnership that reflects the Love of God.  Look for a young man who is strong in the Lord. Choose a guy you respect, and one who’s admired by others for his character.  Choose a guy who is a leader, someone you would be eager to follow.

As you get to know him, take note .. is he a ‘one woman man?’  Choose a guy who would rather be with you than anyone else in the world.

A young man who loves the Lord will take responsibility for you, your spiritual growth, emotional health, and physical protection.

The second most important decision you will EVER make in life will be the man you choose to marry.

As you know, I’ve been a Pastor’s wife most of my life.  I’ve heard heartbreaking stories from many unhappily married women. These women married guys they thought were handsome, fun, or smart.  They ignored warning signs thinking, I’ll fix him.

The most important quality to look for in a young man is His love for God.  Does he love God with all of his heart soul and mind?  There’s a whole lot of sadness that comes when it hits you, “I married a guy who does not love God like I do.”

Girls, pray and ask Jesus to open your eyes to see HIS choice.  Never, ever, ever settle!


Know, that if you want to find a godly guy – you must be a godly girl.  Only a girl with depth, wisdom, and love for God will draw and attract a godly guy.  Spend time with Jesus, Seek to know Him through His word.  Seek Wisdom, like searching for gold, and God will give it to you. Plug into opportunities to grow with other believers.

You are not prepared for a union until you are singularly whole.

Two people who are united in Christ are POWERFUL, fulfilled and stable!  Not perfect, mind you, but God grows them to be more like Him. God is the glue that keeps them together.

You have NO idea how much you are loved.  Your Abba Father longs to pour His blessings into your lives!  His ways are not our ways … He see’s what we do not. Go to Him my girls and find in Him everything you will ever need.  xoxo

because I love you,



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