A Dating Story

Christian based letters to my Grandgirls

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Hey, my sweet grandgirls, I just read an article by Lindsey Maestas that touched my heart …   Most of you are dating and I believe Lindsey’s story will touch your heart too.

The second most important decision you will make is choosing your husband.  Don’t get sidetracked by looks, feelings, or any other thing that draws you to a guy.

Trust me, if you choose a guy who loves God with all of his heart, he will love you well.

Here is Lindsey’s Story:

When I was 19, I was asked out on a date by a friend of mine who had no reason to be pursuing a girl like me. He was one of the good ones – the kind of man who gives you a glimpse into God’s love and kindness.

In my eyes, I was tarnished. I looked in the mirror and saw damaged goods by every definition of the word. But he still pursued me relentlessly – because he was one of the good ones.

He was honest. He wrote me a letter early on that said, “Lindsey, whatever you want to know, I will tell you. Whatever you want access to, I will show you. I want you to be able to know everything that you want about my life because I care about you.”

I wasn’t used to honest. I was used to working my way around the lies to find a portion of the truth.

This honest, kind & available man was the one who God had in store for me the entire time. And yet, I had forced other guys to fit like broken puzzle pieces because I just desperately wanted to be seen and loved.

Had I continued believing that ‘broken’ was all that God had for me, I never would have found a truly good man. And although he was imperfect and fell short in these areas at times, he would always strive for righteousness and goodness by God’s strength.

Sweet friends, you know that guy that you keep going back to, the one who you can’t seem to let go of no matter how badly he continues to hurt / ignore / damage you? Most of us have been with one. It’s time to let him go.

Read more here … http://www.sparrowsandlily.com/girl-settling-wrong-guy/

50 Things I want my Daughter to Know

Girls, I just read the MOST amazing blog.  I LOVE this and want to pass it on to you.

Here are three of the 50 things Rick Thomas want’s his daughter to know …  Nuggets of pure gold, and sound wisdom!  If she listens to this wisdom … she will be so fulfilled in her life and marriage.  Take a moment and let these thoughts permeate your being.  Pray God opens the eyes of your spiritual understanding:

1. Don’t just marry a Christian. Christians are a dime a dozen. Marry a person who acts like Jesus. When you line up the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), there should be little difference between your boyfriend and Jesus. That’s the guy of your dreams. Any other kind of man will be a nightmare.

2. Boys are not as strong and invincible as they would want you to believe. If you don’t learn the “book” before you fall in love with the “cover,” you’ll be disappointed with the content.

3. Don’t spend your teenage years primarily playing sports, or anything else that you will not be doing when you’re fifty. Spend the best part of your days practicing the things you will be doing (and should be doing) for the rest of your life. Your hobbies, whether in your teen or adult years, should not be your primary focus. (Unless you can make a living doing your hobby.)

Click the link below to read more …


How to find a Good Man, Personality Traits Vs. Character

 Christian based letters to my Grandgirls 

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Hi Girlies,  It’s been a busy season.  A season filled with family time, birthdays and lots of fun!  I so enjoyed being with you and celebrating the JOY we experience because we serve Jesus.

Today I want to share an article I just read by one of my favorite Christian writers, Henry Cloud. I’ve highlighted some of his awesome comments in this post. As you read this article, make sure you look not only at the person you are dating or want to date.  Open your eyes, test your own heart.  Do you see the character qualities needed to sustain a long-term relationship?

Henry’s words are pure gold girlies.  You’ll need to click on the link below to read more.

“Most people who date are looking for preferences rather than character. I hear people say, I want someone who’s witty. I want someone who likes to hike. I want someone who is ambitious in their career. I want someone who is good looking. I want someone who reads a lot. I want someone who is physically strong. These preferences are superficial and will not hold a couple together.

The things that cause relationships to end are things like

  • being a bad listener
  • Having unrealistic expectations
  • Irresponsible spending
  • Lack of emotional identification
  • Inability to just be real
  • Temper flare-ups
  • Perfectionism
  • Tendencies toward controlling behavior

We often rationalize these character flaws as personality quirks even though they are red flags.  When you contrast that with the comparatively lightweight nature of the criteria that we select people by — the kind of superficial traits that comprise our tastes — it starts to seem like dangerously shortsighted behavior.

What good is a witty person who can’t make you feel safe?

What good is an ambitious, career-driven person if they can’t be real with you?

What good is a person who reads a lot but doesn’t hear a word you say?

What good is a handsome or beautiful person if they are conceited, self-centered or blow up every time they don’t get their way?

Are your concrete, but ultimately superficial preferences preventing you from dating someone who could be great for you?

You will save yourself a whole lot of heartache if you consider the kinds of things you’re NOT looking for with the same weight of the things you find attractive.

Above all girls, pray that God opens your eyes to the man He has for you.  A man filled with character with a passion for God.

To read the rest of Henry Cloud’s wise words, go to his article entitled:

The Difference Between What You Want And What You Think You Want In Dating

Don’t Marry a Fixer-Upper

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Hi Girlies,

Thinking of you this morning and going back to a Lovenote I wrote you in 2016. You are all at a different place in your lives and these words will apply in a different way now. So, I’ve done a dusting up and clarifying work on this message from my heart to yours. 😉

These words are important – so very important.

The second most important decision you will ever make is choosing your life partner.

I want to urge you, “never choose a fixer-upper.” Through the years of counseling young women with stars in their eyes, I have witnessed such disappointment and utter despair when she realizes, she can’t change the guy she chose.  I don’t know what it is about us girls, but before marriage most of us think we will change our man.  There is no such thing as fixing a man after you marry him, it just never happens.

What you see is what you get.

Some of you are currently in a committed relationship. Know that this is an opportunity to study your potential life partner.

It’s so important to blow the fairy dust out of your eyes and be really honest when you look at that young man your heart is attached to.

Be brutally honest about his character. Do you have concerns?

Are their RED FLAGS?

Is he more interested in hanging with the guys than hanging with you? This does not mean he should never hang with guy friends, especially if his guy friends pour into his life and make him a better man. What I am referring to is a young man who’d rather be out with the boys than spend time with you.

Take Note:  He’s not changing!

Is he a silent knight?  One who doesn’t talk to you about what’s going on in his head? Are you left feeling alone in your heart?

Take Note: He’s not changing

Does he include you in his dreams for the future?  If no,

Take Note: He’s not changing

Does he build you up in the areas God has gifted you? If no,

Take Note: He’s not changing

Does he appreciate your efforts to please him? If not,

Take Note: He’s not changing

Do you see the love of God in him? Does he share his walk with the Lord or initiate devotions with you?  If not,

Take Note: He’s not changing

Does he love kids like you do? Do you picture him as a father who will invest his heart in his children?

Take Note: He’s not changing

My sweet girls, Seek God with all of your heart, He wants you to have the BEST in a marriage partner. He wants that partnership to reflect the Love of God.

  • Look for a young man strong in the Lord.
  • Choose a guy you respect
  • Look for a guy who’s admired by others for his character.
  • Choose a guy who is a leader, someone you would be eager to follow.
  • Look for a guy who only has eyes for you – A ‘one woman man.’

A young man who loves the Lord will take responsibility for you, your spiritual growth, emotional health, and physical protection. I am not saying he will meet all your needs. I am not saying he is super-human and can read your mind. He is human, just like you, but he will seek to lead you.

The only one who can meet all your needs is God, you must be careful not to put him in place of God. Cultivate your relationship with God through reading His love letter to you.  He deserves first place in our lives and when we honor Him; He meets all of our needs.

As you know, I’ve been a Pastor’s wife most of my life.  I’ve heard heartbreaking stories from many unhappily married women. These women married guys they thought were handsome, fun, or smart.  They ignored warning signs thinking, I’ll fix him.

The most important quality to look for in a young man is His love for God.  Does he love God with all of his heart, soul and mind?  There’s a whole lot of sadness to the one who realizes, “I married a guy who does not love God like I do.”

Girls, pray and ask Jesus to open your eyes to see HIS choice.  Never, ever, ever settle!


Know that if you want to find a godly guy,

You must be a godly girl

Only a girl with depth, wisdom, and love for God will draw and attract a godly guy.  Spend time with Jesus, Seek to know Him through His word.  Seek Wisdom, like searching for gold, and God will give it to you. Plug into opportunities to grow with other believers.

You are not prepared for a union until you are singularly whole.

Two people united in Christ are POWERFUL, fulfilled and stable!  Not perfect, mind you, but God grows them to be more like Him.

God is the glue that keeps them together

You have NO idea how much you are loved.  Your Abba Father longs to pour His blessings into your lives!  His ways are not our ways… He see’s what we do not. Go to Him my girls and find in Him everything you will ever need.  xoxo

because I love you,